Watching someone you love…die? There are no words for how broken that makes a person. It's like waking up from a bad dream only to find out that it's your reality, it's like watching sunlight fade from the sky, like watching death suck the one you love dry, and being powerless to stop it. You may as well try to stop the waves from rolling in, or the sun from rising. In the end, the waves will roll, the sun will set, and death will come. The only thing you have a choice in? How you deal with it when it does.
How often do you think we write our own ending before the story is even finished? How often do we give up on ourselves when our lives are just starting? Things get hard and we immediately back away and assume that means we're going in the wrong direction, doing the wrong thing. If anything, when the waters get thick, that's our sign to keep going.
Watching someone you love go through difficult times is like being trapped in your own body but paralyzed. You want to yell at them, scream, help them, but your body won't move, and you know that no matter how hard you try, in the end, the path is theirs to choose. You can't choose for them. What a terrifying concept, especially considering we hardly see every option when we're stuck in our own self-defeat.
Love shouldn't be something you jump into because it's the right time in your life or because your friends are all married. It should be something that happens naturally, and in the end it turns into the supernatural because suddenly, you can't imagine waking up every day without that other half.
Rachel Van Dyken has the following books quoted on Quodid: