[Television is] the triumph of machine over people.
Don't you wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work.
Thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative.
Imagine what it would be like if TV actually were good. It would be the end of everything we know.
Television is for appearing on - not for looking at.
My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.
—Peter De Vries
All television is children's television.
—Richard P. Adler
I think that parents only get so offended by television because they rely on it as a babysitter and the sole educator of their kids.
—Trey Parker and Matt Stone