I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.

Don't fall before you're pushed.

—English proverb

A full cup must be carried steadily.

—English proverb

Write down the advice of him who loves you, though you like it not at present.

—English proverb

Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork.

—English proverb

He who strikes the first blow admits he's lost the argument.

—Dave Barry

My parents only had one argument in forty-five years. It lasted forty-three years.

—Chinese proverb

The Argument from Intimidation is a confession of intellectual impotence.

—Cathy Ladman

How many a dispute could have been deflated into a single paragraph if the disputants had dared to define their terms.

—Ayn Rand

Violence stinks no matter which side of it you're on. But now and then there's nothing left to do but hit the other person over the head with a frying pan.

—Tom Robbins