Shozan Jack Haubner

About

Shozan Jack Haubner is the pen name of a Zen monk who has written two books and a number of essays for The Sun, Tricycle, Buddhadharma, Lion's Roar and the New York Times, and the Best Buddhist Writing series. He won the Pushcart Prize in 2012. Haubner's books, portions of which have been excerpted in essays, present partially fictionalized accounts of life with Kyozan Joshu Sasaki and associated Rinzai-Ji zen centers.

Quotes from Shozan Jack Haubner

I gathered my shoes and wallet on the other side of the metal detector and took a last glance at my father, who was still there, still waving.That mangled finger had always been a symbol of his shortcomings and deformities to me, but now I saw it was also a testament to all that he'd sacrificed for our family.He'd lost that trigger finger building the business that had fed and clothed me. I imagined he was not only waving me goodbye but waving me forward with that symbol of his own woundedness.

—Shozan Jack Haubner

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In the Buddhist view, I depend on you for my existence. All things depend on each other, equally. Welcome to the doctrine of dependent origination. It's teeter-totter metaphysics—I arise, you arise; you arise, I arise. Forget about our presumed Maker, the divine machinist in the sky. Take a look at this moment right now. You are you because you are not something else; therefore, what you are not—the chair beneath you, the air in your lungs, these words—births you through an infinity of opposites. It's like the ultimate Dr. Seuss riddle: Without all the things that are not you, who would you be you to? There's no Higher Power in this system to grab on to for support; we are all already supporting each other. Pull a person or people the wrong way and you immediately redefine yourself in light of what you've done to your neighbor.

—Shozan Jack Haubner in Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk

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reality God time Buddhism dependent origination metaphysics

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…you are meant to grow into a true human being. Right now you are to a human being what an acorn is to an oak tree. A good start, that's all. You've got a long way to go, baby, and you're not going to grow into your full potential sitting in front of the laptop, bag of Cool Ranch Doritos in one hand, dick in the other, anime porn boring a hole in your corneas and consciousness. Just a thought.

—Shozan Jack Haubner in Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk

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Buddhism is not a refuge from life. It is life stripped bare and known most intimately. Zen doesn't make you a "better person." It helps you become fully human. My mentor was no model for how to behave perfectly but for how to experience completely. He never told me how to live my life. He just helped me become alive.

—Shozan Jack Haubner in Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk

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life perfection experience intimacy Buddhism self-improvement

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They want to hear that Buddhism is the answer to all of their problems, not a big fat arrow pointing to the source of all of their problems: ego.

—Shozan Jack Haubner in Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk

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Zen attacks that one last thing you hold dear: your precious self-conception. It unravels any notion of a freestanding, unconditional "I" and shows it to be a lie, a fabrication, a construction. True realization, the old masters tell us, takes bone-crushing effort. We pulverize the very skeleton of ego—upon which the meat and skin and organs of our illusions hang—and we do it through intense, hurtle-yourself-off-the-cliffs-and-into-the-chasm practice.

—Shozan Jack Haubner in Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk

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perception effort Buddhism Zen self-conception I

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You'd never walk into the forest with the radio blasting and expect wild animals to appear by your side. Yet it never occurs to you to unplug the inner jukebox and get quiet inside so that a natural, organic state of mind can reorganize you and your life from within.

—Shozan Jack Haubner in Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk

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silence peace quiteness mental chatter

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Zen is like chemotherapy for me. It's brutal medicine that makes you go bald, but it beats the alternative.

—Shozan Jack Haubner in Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk

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brutality Buddhism medicine Zen cancer

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I thought I wanted his love, but really I wanted his pity. I wanted to quit. But he wouldn't let me. "A good doctor can cure your illness, but only the greatest doctor can show you you were never sick," Roshi has said.

—Shozan Jack Haubner in Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk

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love sickness medicine doctors permission

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Books

Shozan Jack Haubner has the following books quoted on Quodid:

Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk