Jack Roy (born Jacob Cohen; November 22, 1921 – October 5, 2004), better known by the pseudonym Rodney Dangerfield, was an American stand-up comedian, actor, screenwriter, and producer. He was known for his self-deprecating one-liner humor, his catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.