Quotations from
Jack Roy (born Jacob Cohen; November 22, 1921 – October 5, 2004), better known by the stage name Rodney Dangerfield, was an American stand-up comedian, actor, screenwriter, and producer. He was known for his self-deprecating one-liner humor, his catchphrase "I don’t get no respect!", and his monologues on that theme.
My wife said she'd like to have sex in the backseat of the car… and she wanted me to drive.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest.
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid.
On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.
My wife's not too smart. I told her our kids were spoiled. She said, all kids smell that way.
I bought a new Japanese car, I turned on the radio.. I don't understand a word they're saying.