Jack Roy (born Jacob Cohen; November 22, 1921 – October 5, 2004), better known by the pseudonym Rodney Dangerfield, was an American stand-up comedian, actor, screenwriter, and producer. He was known for his self-deprecating one-liner humor, his catchphrase "I don't get no respect!" and his monologues on that theme.
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.