Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.

You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.

—Evan Esar

The girl with a future avoids a man with a past.

—Evan Esar

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy and Jill a rich widow.

—Evan Esar

Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.

—Evan Esar

Many a man who falls in love with a dimple make the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

—Evan Esar

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

—Kin Hubbard

The first boy is always the hardest to get over. It's just the way the world works.

—Sarah Dessen in That Summer

Few misfortunes can befall a boy which bring worse consequences than to have a really affectionate mother.

—W. Somerset Maugham