I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to.

About Dave Barry

Portrait of Dave Barry

David McAlister Barry (born 3 July 1947) is an American author and columnist who wrote a nationally syndicated humor column for the Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005. He has written numerous books of humor and parody, as well as comic novels and children's novels. Barry's honors include the Pulitzer...

More quotations from Dave Barry

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.

work furniture wood

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.