Bacchus hath drowned more men than Neptune.

He that plants trees loves others beside himself.

—Dr. Thomas Fuller

Let not thy will roar, when thy power can but whisper.

—Dr. Thomas Fuller

Money is the sinew of love as well as war.

—Dr. Thomas Fuller

Health is not valued till sickness comes.

—Dr. Thomas Fuller

Education begins a gentleman, conversation completes him.

—Dr. Thomas Fuller

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.

—Dean Martin

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.

—Dave Barry

And malt does more than Milton can
To justify God's ways to man.

—A. E. Housman

I'm a secretary. On a good day I type ninety-five words per minute; on a bad day I show up drunk in my pajamas.

—Mary Beth Cowan

I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep.

—George Best