I'm a secretary. On a good day I type ninety-five words per minute; on a bad day I show up drunk in my pajamas.

—Mary Beth Cowan

work drinking secretary typing bad days

More quotations tagged with “drinking”

I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep.

Skiing consists of wearing $3,000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink.

—P. J. O'Rourke

sports alcohol drinking snow skiing

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

—W. C. Fields

driving alcohol drinking

Ah! Memory impairment: the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle!

—Chuck Lorre, Steven Molaro and Eric Kaplan

memory forgetting alcohol drinking

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not.

health eating drinking

History

22 May 2015 Added