Quotations from

W. C. Fields

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William Claude Dukenfield (January 29, 1880 – December 25, 1946), better known as W. C. Fields, was an American actor, comedian, juggler and writer. His career in show business began in vaudeville, where he attained international success as a silent juggler. He began to incorporate comedy into his act and was a featured comedian in the Ziegfeld Follies for several years. He became a star in the Broadway musical comedy Poppy (1923), in which he played a colorful small-time con man. His subsequent stage and film roles were often similar scoundrels or henpecked everyman characters.

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Quotes from W. C. Fields

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

—W. C. Fields

I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

—W. C. Fields

I never vote for anyone; I always vote against.

—W. C. Fields

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.

—W. C. Fields

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.

—W. C. Fields

Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.

—W. C. Fields

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

—W. C. Fields

I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake--which I also keep handy.

—W. C. Fields

Prejudice is opinion without judgement.

—W. C. Fields

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

—W. C. Fields

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother.

—W. C. Fields

You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.

—W. C. Fields

Last week, I went to Philadelphia, but it was closed.

—W. C. Fields

A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.

—W. C. Fields

I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

—W. C. Fields