William Claude Dukenfield (January 29, 1880 – December 25, 1946), better known as W. C. Fields, was an American actor, comedian, juggler, and writer. Fields's comic persona was a comedically crude and hard-drinking egotist who remained a sympathetic character despite his supposed contempt for children and dogs.
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
If he does it with you, he'll do it to you.
—Paula Hawkins in The Girl on the Train
—Ember Casey in Her Wicked Heart