William Claude Dukenfield (January 29, 1880 – December 25, 1946), better known as W. C. Fields, was an American actor, comedian, juggler and writer.
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it.
If he does it with you, he'll do it to you.
—Paula Hawkins in The Girl on the Train
—Ember Casey in Her Wicked Heart