William Claude Dukenfield (January 29, 1880 – December 25, 1946), better known as W. C. Fields, was an American actor, comedian, juggler, and writer.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.
Your words are my food, your breath my wine. You are everything to me.
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?