William Claude Dukenfield (January 29, 1880 – December 25, 1946), better known as W. C. Fields, was an American comedian, actor, juggler, and writer. Fields's comic persona was a misanthropic and hard-drinking egotist who remained a sympathetic character despite his supposed contempt for children and dogs.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home.
I never vote for anyone; I always vote against.
I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.
Your words are my food, your breath my wine. You are everything to me.
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?
What I like to drink most is wine that belongs to others.