The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another.
—J. Frank Dobie
One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.
—Oscar Wilde
Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.
—Ogden Nash
Tradition is what you resort to when you don't have the time or the money to do it right.
—Kurt Herbert Alder
If fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
—Anatole France
There are many things that we would throw away if we were not afraid that others might pick them up.
—Oscar Wilde
I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.
—James Thurber
Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.
—Wilson Mizner
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.
—Mark Twain
Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
—Scott Adams
People find life entirely too time-consuming.
—Stanislaw J. Lec
The good life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean that if you are good you will be happy - I mean that if you are happy you will be good.
—Bertrand Russell
It's actually easy to tell if your house is haunted: It isn't. Grow up.
—Jimmy Carr
All great truths begin as blasphemies.
—George Bernard Shaw
To err is dysfunctional, to forgive co-dependent.
—Berton Averre