A man who has been the indisputable favorite of his mother keeps for life the feeling of a conqueror, that confidence of success that often induces real success.
—Sigmund Freud
The perjurer's mother told white lies.
—Austin O'Malley
When love is gone, there's always justice./ And when justice is gone, there's always force./ And when force is gone, there's always Mom./ Hi, Mom!
—Laurie Anderson
There's a group of Americans who are fully employed. They aren't very well paid or they're not paid at all. They're called mothers, and I've never heard of a mother who wasn't a working mother. And that includes the mothers on welfare.
—Theresa Funiciello
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
—Milton Berle