When composer Igor Stravinsky was fifty-seven, he settled in the United States and a year later decided to apply for American citizenship. He made an appointment to see the appropriate official. At his first interview the official asked the famous composer his name. "Stra-vin-sky," he replied, speaking each syllable distinctly. "You could change it, you know," suggested the official.
There are things in life you can change—your weight, your appearance, your mindset, etc.—but there is one thing you cannot change and that is other people. Try as we might, we cannot get people to love us. Even when we are the coolest best version of ourselves someone is going to say, "Not for me." But if we feel good about ourselves we can shrug it off and say, "It's just a date," and know that there will be others.
The power of love to change bodies is legendary, built into folklore, common sense, and everyday experience. Love moves the flesh, it pushes matter around. . . . Throughout history, "tender loving care" has uniformly been recognized as a valuable element in healing.