The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant—and let the air out of the tires.
—Dorothy Parker
Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
—Ogden Nash
The gain is not the having of children; it is the discovery of love and how to be loving.
—Polly Berrien Berends
I wasn't anything special as a father. But I loved them and they knew it.
—Sammy Davis, Jr.
You wake up one day and say, "You know what, I don't think I ever need to sleep or have sex again." Congratulations, you're ready to have children.
—Ray Romano
I love my daughter. She and I have shared my body. There is a part of her mind that is a part of mine. But when she was born, she sprang from me like a slippery fish, and has been swimming away ever since.
—Amy Tan
When love is gone, there's always justice./ And when justice is gone, there's always force./ And when force is gone, there's always Mom./ Hi, Mom!
—Laurie Anderson
The child who was happy with herself meant the parents had won the jackpot.
—Meg Wolitzer in The Interestings
As far as rearing children goes, the basic idea I try to keep in mind is that a child is a person. Just because they happen to be a little shorter than you doesn't mean they are dumber than you. A lot of people make that mistake, and forget how much value there is in raw intuition—and there's plenty of that in every child. They may not have verbal skills or manual skills yet, but that is no reason to treat them like they're inferior little lumps whose destiny it is to grow up to be inferior big lumps like you.
—Frank Zappa
How insulting is it to suggest that the best thing women can do is raise other people to do incredible things? I'm betting some of those women would like to do great things of their own.
—Jessica Valenti in Why Have Kids?