Quotations from

Ambrose Bierce

About

Picture of Ambrose Bierce

Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce (June 24, 1842 – c. 1914) was an American author, journalist, and poet. A prolific and versatile writer, Bierce was regarded as one of the most influential journalists in the United States and as a pioneering writer of realist fiction. For his horror writing, Michael Dirda ranked him alongside Edgar Allan Poe and H. P. Lovecraft. S. T. Joshi speculates that "he may well be the greatest satirist America has ever produced, and in this regard can take his place with such figures as Juvenal, Swift, and Voltaire." His war stories influenced Stephen Crane, Ernest Hemingway and others, and he was considered an influential and feared literary critic. In recent decades, Bierce has gained wider respect as a fabulist and poet.

from Wikipedia

Quotes from Ambrose Bierce

Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.

—Ambrose Bierce

Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.

—Ambrose Bierce

Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

—Ambrose Bierce

The covers of this book are too far apart.

—Ambrose Bierce

Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

—Ambrose Bierce

Thinking rationally is often different from "positive thinking," in that it is a realistic assessment of the situation, with a view towards rectifying the problem if possible.

—Ambrose Bierce

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

—Ambrose Bierce

Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.

—Ambrose Bierce

Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

—Ambrose Bierce

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

—Ambrose Bierce

Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.

—Ambrose Bierce

Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

—Ambrose Bierce

Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slave driver. 

—Ambrose Bierce

When you doubt, abstain.

—Ambrose Bierce

To be positive: To be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

—Ambrose Bierce