Robert Orben - Quodid

About

Robert Orben (March 4, 1927 – February 2, 2023) was an American professional comedy writer and magician. He wrote multiple books on comedy, mostly collections of gags and "one-liners" originally written for his newsletter, Orben's Current Comedy, and also wrote books for magicians. Later, Orben moved into politics, and in 1973 he became head speechwriter to Vice President Gerald R. Ford.

Quotes from Robert Orben

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

—Robert Orben

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral.

—Robert Orben

humor perspective neutrality

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.

—Robert Orben

To err is human—and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

—Robert Orben

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

—Robert Orben

Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected.

—Robert Orben

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

—Robert Orben

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

—Robert Orben

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

—Robert Orben