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Some things are just perfect, even when they don't make any sense.

—Bella Andre in Come A Little Bit Closer

perfection coherence

About Bella Andre

Bella Andre (born in New York) is an American author of more than 40 contemporary romance novels. As of 2019, Andre is the New York Times, USA Today, and Wall Street Journal bestselling author of The Sullivans™ series and her books have sold over 8 million copies. She also writes...

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Buddhism is not a refuge from life. It is life stripped bare and known most intimately. Zen doesn't make you a "better person." It helps you become fully human. My mentor was no model for how to behave perfectly but for how to experience completely. He never told me how to live my life. He just helped me become alive.

—Shozan Jack Haubner in Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk

life perfection experience intimacy Buddhism self-improvement

Relationships always started with that heady, swoonish period, where the other person is like some new invention that suddenly solves all life's worst problems, like losing socks in the dryer or toasting bagels without burning the edges. At this phase, which usually lasts about six weeks max, the other person is perfect. But at six weeks and two days, the cracks begin to show; not real structural damage yet, but little things that niggle and nag. Like the way they always assume you'll pay for your own movie, just because you did once, or how they use the dashboard of their car as an imaginary keyboard at long stoplights. Once, you might have thought this was cute, or endearing. Now, it annoys you, but not enough to change anything. Come week eight, though, the strain is starting to show. This person is, in fact, human, and here's where most relationships splinter and die. Because either you can stick around and deal with these problems, or ease out gracefully, knowing that at some point in the not-too-distant future, there will emerge another perfect person, who will fix everything, at least for six weeks.

—Sarah Dessen in This Lullaby

love relationships perfection problems

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