John Florence Sullivan (May 31, 1894 – March 17, 1956), known professionally as Fred Allen, was an American comedian. His absurdist, topically pointed radio program The Fred Allen Show (1932–1949) made him one of the most popular and forward-looking humorists in the Golden Age of American radio.His best-remembered gag was...
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own hand.
California is a fine place to live--if you happen to be an orange.
The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.
A committee can make a decision that is dumber than any of its members.