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If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.

—Samuel Goldwyn

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Love prefers twilight to daylight.

—Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.

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I thought I wanted his love, but really I wanted his pity. I wanted to quit. But he wouldn't let me. "A good doctor can cure your illness, but only the greatest doctor can show you you were never sick," Roshi has said.

—Shozan Jack Haubner in Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk

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Zen is like chemotherapy for me. It's brutal medicine that makes you go bald, but it beats the alternative.

—Shozan Jack Haubner in Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk

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You'd never walk into the forest with the radio blasting and expect wild animals to appear by your side. Yet it never occurs to you to unplug the inner jukebox and get quiet inside so that a natural, organic state of mind can reorganize you and your life from within.

—Shozan Jack Haubner in Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk

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Zen attacks that one last thing you hold dear: your precious self-conception. It unravels any notion of a freestanding, unconditional "I" and shows it to be a lie, a fabrication, a construction. True realization, the old masters tell us, takes bone-crushing effort. We pulverize the very skeleton of ego—upon which the meat and skin and organs of our illusions hang—and we do it through intense, hurtle-yourself-off-the-cliffs-and-into-the-chasm practice.

—Shozan Jack Haubner in Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk

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They want to hear that Buddhism is the answer to all of their problems, not a big fat arrow pointing to the source of all of their problems: ego.

—Shozan Jack Haubner in Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk

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Buddhism is not a refuge from life. It is life stripped bare and known most intimately. Zen doesn't make you a "better person." It helps you become fully human. My mentor was no model for how to behave perfectly but for how to experience completely. He never told me how to live my life. He just helped me become alive.

—Shozan Jack Haubner in Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk

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…you are meant to grow into a true human being. Right now you are to a human being what an acorn is to an oak tree. A good start, that's all. You've got a long way to go, baby, and you're not going to grow into your full potential sitting in front of the laptop, bag of Cool Ranch Doritos in one hand, dick in the other, anime porn boring a hole in your corneas and consciousness. Just a thought.

—Shozan Jack Haubner in Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk

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In the Buddhist view, I depend on you for my existence. All things depend on each other, equally. Welcome to the doctrine of dependent origination. It's teeter-totter metaphysics—I arise, you arise; you arise, I arise. Forget about our presumed Maker, the divine machinist in the sky. Take a look at this moment right now. You are you because you are not something else; therefore, what you are not—the chair beneath you, the air in your lungs, these words—births you through an infinity of opposites. It's like the ultimate Dr. Seuss riddle: Without all the things that are not you, who would you be you to? There's no Higher Power in this system to grab on to for support; we are all already supporting each other. Pull a person or people the wrong way and you immediately redefine yourself in light of what you've done to your neighbor.

—Shozan Jack Haubner in Zen Confidential: Confessions of a Wayward Monk

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Such is the common process of marriage. A youth and maiden meeting by chance, or brought together by artifice, exchange glances, reciprocate civilities, go home, and dream of one another. Having little to divert attention, or diversify thought, they find themselves uneasy when they are apart, and therefore conclude that they shall be happy together. They marry, and discover what nothing but voluntary blindness had before concealed; they wear out life in altercations, and charge nature with cruelty.

—Samuel Johnson in The History of Rasselas, Prince of Abissinia

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The first years of man must make provision for the last.

—Samuel Johnson in The History of Rasselas, Prince of Abissinia

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A man used to vicissitudes is not easily dejected.

—Samuel Johnson in The History of Rasselas, Prince of Abissinia

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Human life is everywhere a state in which much is to be endured and little to be enjoyed.

—Samuel Johnson in The History of Rasselas, Prince of Abissinia

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I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.

—Samuel Johnson

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