Emo Phillips

Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.

—Emo Phillips

I like to play chess with old men in the park. But it's so hard to find 32 of them.

—Emo Phillips

At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.

—Emo Phillips