Think of life as a giant, fat cat you're in charge of. Sometimes you can control it, but other times, it's going to do what it wants and you have to roll with it. And sometimes you can do everything—everything you're s'posed to do- and it'll still shred all the things you hold dear… The only thing you can really do with life is rub its belly and prepare for the worst.
—Randy K. Milholland
Ah, sweet alcohol. Like a true friend, you replace the anger with better, louder anger.
—Randy K. Milholland
It's a lot like nature. You only have as many animals as the ecosystem can support and you only have as many friends as you can tolerate the bitching of.
—Randy K. Milholland
Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing.
—Randy K. Milholland
I've accepted that I'm not going to die of natural causes, [but] getting killed 'cuz you're naturally a dick seems like natural causes to me.
—Randy K. Milholland