Junkies might be easy to knock down, but they're never fragile. They have souls like old leather shoes studded with steel, and they're about as much good as friends.

Love isn't a decision. It's a feeling. If we could decide who we loved, it would be much simpler, but much less magical.

—Trey Parker and Matt Stone

Living is having ups and downs and sharing them with friends.

—Trey Parker and Matt Stone

You know, I think that if parents would spend less time worrying about what their kids watch on TV and more time worrying about what's going on in their kids' lives, this world would be a much better place.

—Trey Parker and Matt Stone

I've learned that all a person has in life is family and friends. If you lose those, you have nothing, so friends are to be treasured more than anything else in the world.

—Trey Parker and Matt Stone

The best way to try to motivate somebody is by being direct with them. To be honest with them. Lies are never the right way to get your message across.

—Trey Parker and Matt Stone

[Addiction's] not about placating the bad dog—it's about feeding the good dog. You still have to feed the bad dog, but only enough so that the ASPCA doesn't bring you up on charges.

—Roy Blount Jr.

I love drugs, but I hate hangovers, and the hatred of the hangover wins by a landslide every time.

—Margaret Cho

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

—Lily Tomlin

Saving someone's life is like falling in love, the best drug in the world.

—Paul Schrader

Reading is socially accepted disassociation. You flip a switch and you're not there anymore. It's better than heroin. More effective and cheaper and legal.

—Mary Karr