The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball.
—Doug Larson
Fettucini alfredo is macaroni and cheese for adults.
—Mitch Hedberg
The man who sees two or three generations is like one who sits in the conjuror's booth at a fair and sees the tricks two or three times. They are meant to be seen only once.
—Arthur Schopenhauer
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not.
—Mark Twain
I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if I were 22 with a great body, it would be artistic, tasteful, patriotic and a progressive religious experience.
—Shelley Winters
Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.
—Kurt Vonnegut
I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.
—George Burns
Old age is the most unexpected of all the things that happen to a man.
—Leon Trotsky
Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives.
—Maurice Chevalier
How beautiful the leaves grow old. How full of light and color are their last days.
—John Burroughs
When I dream, I am always ageless.
—Elizabeth Coatsworth
Too many people grow up. They forget. They don't remember what it's like to be twelve years old. They patronize; they treat children as inferiors. Well, I won't do that.
—Walt Disney
A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called an old man for the first time.
—Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.
How can one accept—let alone enjoy—aging in a culture where God is twenty-five; where advertisements are filled with twenty-somethings in halter tops and tight t-shirts, unless the ad is for a drug to treat incontinence, high blood pressure, or elevated cholesterol? What about the wisdom of age? What about endurance? What about the beauty of a face etched by years that were not always easy?
—Genie Zeiger
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
—Herbert Henry Asquith