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Quotations from

George Carlin

About

Picture of George Carlin

George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 – June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, satirist, social critic, actor and author. Widely regarded as one of the greatest and most influential comedians of all time, he was known for his stand-up routines, combining elements of dark comedy and commentary on topics such as contemporary politics, the English language, psychology, and religion.

from Wikipedia

Quotes from George Carlin

It's the American view that everything has to keep climbing: productivity, profits, even comedy. No time for reflection. No time to contract before another expansion. No time to grow up. No time to fuck up. No time to learn from your mistakes. But that notion goes against nature, which is cyclical. And I hope I'm now beginning a new cycle of energy and creativity. If so, it'll really be my third career. The first was as a straight comic in the Sixties. The second was as a counterculture performer in the Seventies. The third will be…well, that's for others to judge.

—George Carlin

USA comedy commentary

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.

—George Carlin

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

—George Carlin

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.

—George Carlin

How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelet?

—George Carlin

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

—George Carlin

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

—George Carlin