Quotations from

Wilson Mizner

About

Picture of Wilson Mizner

Wilson Mizner ( MIZE-ner) (May 19, 1876 – April 3, 1933) was an American playwright, raconteur, and entrepreneur. His best-known plays are The Deep Purple, produced in 1910, and The Greyhound, produced in 1911. He was manager and co-owner of the restaurant The Brown Derby in Los Angeles, California, and was part of the failed project of his older brother Addison to create a new resort in Boca Raton, Florida. He and Addison are the protagonists of Stephen Sondheim's musical Road Show (alternately known as Wise Guys, Gold!, and Bounce).

from Wikipedia

Quotes from Wilson Mizner

Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.

—Wilson Mizner

Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave.

—Wilson Mizner

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.

—Wilson Mizner

A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.

—Wilson Mizner

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.

—Wilson Mizner

To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

—Wilson Mizner

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.

—Wilson Mizner

My parents taught me how to listen to everybody before I made up my own mind. When you listen, you learn. You absorb like a sponge-and your life becomes so much better than when you are just trying to be listened to all the time.

—Wilson Mizner

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.

—Wilson Mizner

If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research.

—Wilson Mizner

It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found.

—Wilson Mizner

Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up.

—Wilson Mizner

If you count all your assets you always show a profit.

—Wilson Mizner

God help those who do not help themselves.

—Wilson Mizner

Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest.

—Wilson Mizner