If I can't suck your milkshake through a straw, it's not a milkshake—it's a glass of ice cream.

—Bill Maher in The New New Rules: A Funny Look At How Everybody But Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass

About Bill Maher

William Maher (born January 20, 1956) is an American television host, comedian, actor and political commentator. Known for his political satire, he is the host of the HBO political talk show Real Time with Bill Maher (2003–present) and podcast Club Random (2022–present). He previously hosted a late-night show called Politically...

More quotations from Bill Maher

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.

—Bill Maher

punishment

New Rule: Computers aren't for voting.… Voting by computer sounds really cool and futuristic—if this were 1969! But now that we all have computers, we know that they are, in fact, huge fuck-up machines.… You thought the 2000 election was bad? Wait until the next one is decided by a customer-service rep in New Delhi.

—Bill Maher

The liberals are saying that this guest-worker program… is really just a way to depress wages and create a permanent underclass of exploited labor. To which the president said, "And the problem is?

—Bill Maher

More quotations tagged with “milkshakes”

As a child, I lived with being punier than other boys in class. The only consolation was my parents' empathy—they encouraged constant trips to the local drugstore for chocolate milk shakes to fatten me up. The shakes made me happy, but still, all through grammar school, other kids shoved me around.

—James D. Watson

empathy children happiness childhood school milkshakes bullying

Ed felt faint. Milk shake, as it turned out, was much less handy in your veins then, say, oxygen.

—Francine Pascal in Sam

milkshakes blood illness oxygen

Accept what people offer. Drink their milkshakes. Take their love.

—Wally Lamb

love acceptance milkshakes

History

12 Aug 2015 Added
26 Oct 2026 Wording changed

Previous wording

If I can't suck your milkshake through a straw, it's not a milkshake--it's a glass of ice cream.