I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. For one thing, there's morning sickness. If I'm going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before.

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About Ellen DeGeneres

Ellen Lee DeGeneres ( də-JEN-ər-əs; born January 26, 1958), is an American former comedian, actress, television host, writer, and producer.

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Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, don't put it off.

—Ellen DeGeneres

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We succeed only as we identify in life, or in war, or in anything else, a single overriding objective, and make all other considerations bend to that one objective.

—Ellen DeGeneres

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I didn't go to college at all, any college, and I'm not saying you wasted your time or money, but look at me, I'm a huge celebrity.

—Ellen DeGeneres

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Don't give advice. It will come back and bite you in the [butt]. Don't take anyone's advice. So, my advice to you is to be true to yourself and everything will be fine.

—Ellen DeGeneres

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The only thing that scares me more than space aliens is the idea that there aren't any space aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in big trouble.

—Ellen DeGeneres

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More quotations tagged with “motherhood”

Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.

—Barbara Kingsolver

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Being a mother is a noble status, right? Right. So why does it change when you put "unwed" or "welfare" in front of it?

—Florynce Kennedy

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All that remains to the mother in modern consumer society is the role of scapegoat; psychoanalysis uses huge amounts of money and time to persuade analysands to foist their problems onto the absent mother, who has no opportunity to utter a word in her own defense. Hostility to the mother in our societies is an index of mental health.

—Germaine Greer

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She had risen and was walking about the room, her fat, worn face sharpening with a sort of animal alertness into power and protection. The claws that hide in every maternal creature slipped out of the fur of good manners.

—Margaret Deland

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No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.