Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.

—Sam Levenson

It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.

—Sam Levenson

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.

—Sam Levenson

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.

—Sam Levenson

Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it.

—Sam Levenson

We are born charming, fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society.

—Judith Martin

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

—Gracie Allen

He not busy being born is busy dying.

—Bob Dylan

Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.

—Barry Switzer

It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can't speak for my twin sister.

—Abigail Van Buren