Quotations from
Erma Louise Bombeck (née Fiste; February 21, 1927 – April 22, 1996) was an American humorist who achieved great popularity for her newspaper humor column describing suburban home life, syndicated from 1965 to 1996. Fifteen books of her humor have been published; most became bestsellers.
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend—and he's a priest.
Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother.