Quotations from

Robert Benchley

About

Picture of Robert Benchley

Robert Charles Benchley (September 15, 1889 – November 21, 1945) was an American humorist, newspaper columnist and actor. From his beginnings at The Harvard Lampoon while attending Harvard University, through his many years writing essays and articles for Vanity Fair and The New Yorker and his acclaimed short films, Benchley's style of humor brought him respect and success during his life, from his peers at the Algonquin Round Table in New York City to contemporaries in the burgeoning film industry.

from Wikipedia

Quotes from Robert Benchley

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

—Robert Benchley

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.

—Robert Benchley

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

—Robert Benchley

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

—Robert Benchley

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back, and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

—Robert Benchley

I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle.

—Robert Benchley

Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of.

—Robert Benchley

As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.

—Robert Benchley

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.

—Robert Benchley

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

—Robert Benchley

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

—Robert Benchley

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

—Robert Benchley

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

—Robert Benchley

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment.

—Robert Benchley

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.

—Robert Benchley