The murals in restaurants are on par with the food in museums.

Everybody hates me because I'm so universally liked.

—Peter De Vries

I don't think that the comic and the serious can be separated in talking about human reality, any more than you can separate hydrogen and oxygen and still be talking about water.

—Peter De Vries

Life is a zoo in a jungle.

—Peter De Vries

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.

—Peter De Vries

It is the final proof of God's omnipotence that he need not exist in order to save us.

—Peter De Vries

Never eat spinach just before going on the air.

—Dan Rather

Red meat is NOT bad for you. Now blue-green meat, THAT'S bad for you!

—Tommy Smothers

In Mexico we have a word for sushi: Bait.

—Jose Simon

Man is a creature who lives not upon bread alone, but primarily by catchwords.

—Robert Louis Stevenson

The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

—George Carlin