Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?

—James Thurber

humor telephone

About James Thurber

Portrait of James Thurber

James Grover Thurber (December 8, 1894 – November 2, 1961) was an American cartoonist, writer, humorist, journalist, and playwright. He was born in Columbus, Ohio, and attended Ohio State University (OSU), leaving in 1918 without graduating. He spent over a year in Paris, working for the US State Department as...

More quotations from James Thurber

I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness.

—James Thurber

humor consciousness allergy sneezing

I loathe the expression "What makes him tick." It is the American mind, looking for simple and singular solution, that uses the foolish expression. A person not only ticks, he also chimes and strikes the hour, falls and breaks and has to be put together again, and sometimes stops like an electric clock in a thunderstorm.

—James Thurber

You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward.

—James Thurber

You can fool too many of the people too much of the time.

—James Thurber

Nowadays men lead lives of noisy desperation.

—James Thurber

More quotations tagged with “humor”

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

humor numbers days letters labels

If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

truth humor risk death

Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

—Steven Wright

humor night cards poker

I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something.

—Mitch Hedberg

humor rice lots

Why was I born with such contemporaries?

humor time contemporaries

History

13 Aug 2021 Added