Quotations from

Woody Allen

About

Picture of Woody Allen

Woody Allen (born Allan Stewart Konigsberg; November 30, 1935) is an American filmmaker, actor, writer, and comedian. In a career spanning more than seven decades, he has written for film, television, and theater. As a screenwriter, Allen holds the record of most wins (3) and nominations (16) for the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay. In addition to his four Academy Awards, he has also received numerous other accolades, including ten BAFTA Awards, two Golden Globe Awards, a Grammy Award, and nominations for an Emmy Award and a Tony Award. He received an Honorary Golden Lion in 1995, the BAFTA Fellowship in 1997, an Honorary Palme d'Or in 2002, and the Golden Globe Cecil B. DeMille Award in 2014. Two of his films have been inducted into the National Film Registry by the Library of Congress.

from Wikipedia

Quotes from Woody Allen

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

—Woody Allen

I'm what you call a teleological existential atheist. I believe there's an intelligence to the universe with the exception of certain parts of New Jersey.

—Woody Allen

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

—Woody Allen

I'm astounded by people who want to "know" the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

—Woody Allen

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

—Woody Allen

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

—Woody Allen

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?

—Woody Allen

I'm not the heroic type. I was beaten up by Quakers.

—Woody Allen

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

—Woody Allen

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

—Woody Allen

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me.

—Woody Allen

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

—Woody Allen

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

—Woody Allen

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

—Woody Allen

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

—Woody Allen