It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.

humor light travel impossible speed

About Woody Allen

Portrait of Woody Allen

Woody Allen (born Allan Stewart Konigsberg; November 30, 1935) is an American filmmaker, actor, writer, and comedian. In a career spanning more than seven decades, he has written for film, television, and theater. As a screenwriter, Allen holds the record of most wins (3) and nominations (16) for the Academy...

More quotations from Woody Allen

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

humor numbers days letters labels

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

education morality money

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.

time fun having fun

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

God humor money

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

More quotations tagged with “speed”

Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste that they hurry past it.

—Soren Kierkegaard

attention pleasure speed haste

If we have learned one thing from the history of invention and discovery, it is that, in the long run—and often in the short one—the most daring prophecies seem laughably conservative.

—Arthur C. Clarke

discovery innovation invention speed

When there is no desire to satisfy yourself, there is no aggression or speed… Because there is no rush to achieve, you can afford to relax. Because you can afford to relax, you can afford to keep company with yourself, you can afford to make love with yourself, to be friends with yourself.

—Carlos Castaneda in The Teachings of Don Juan

love relaxation speed

Time passes too quickly when you're getting ready to do something you don't want to do.

—Courtney Summers in Some Girls Are

time perception speed

Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.

—William James

humor common sense speed

History

15 Oct 2021 Added