I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

—Steve Martin

About Steve Martin

Portrait of Steve Martin

Stephen Glenn Martin (born August 14, 1945) is an American comedian, actor, writer, producer, and musician. Known for his work in comedy films, television, and recording, he has received many accolades, including five Grammy Awards, a Primetime Emmy Award, and a Screen Actors Guild Award as well as nominations for...

More quotations from Steve Martin

I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't.

—Steve Martin

First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

—Steve Martin

You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither.

—Steve Martin

More quotations tagged with “humor”

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

—Orson Welles

humor health food

What sublime thoughts filled my mind as I bent to the wind, and trudged through the gorse and heather? I will tell you. I was wondering how much money I shall make out of my next book. Thus does nature keep us in touch with the great realities of existence.

humor money nature

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.

—Groucho Marx

understanding humor

An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it will also make better soup.

—H. L. Mencken

When someone tells you something defies description, you can be pretty sure he's going to have a go at it anyway.

—Clyde B. Aster

History

18 Nov 2013 Added