Dave Barry - Quodid

About

Picture of Dave Barry

David McAlister Barry (born 3 July 1947) is an American author and columnist who wrote a nationally syndicated humor column for the Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005. He has written numerous books of humor and parody, as well as comic novels and children's novels. Barry's honors include the Pulitzer Prize for Commentary (1988) and the Walter Cronkite Award for Excellence in Journalism (2005).

Quotes from Dave Barry

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *and* fresher breath.

truth wisdom peace television teenagers toothpaste

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.

health countries USA America medicine comparison

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

universe fire water

He who strikes the first blow admits he's lost the argument.

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.

science alcohol drinking electricity

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

privilege wealth class golf cloths

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together in the form of furniture, finished, and put inside boxes.

work furniture wood

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to.

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

fun trees skiing

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