Quotations from

Demetri Martin

About

Picture of Demetri Martin

Demetri Evan Martin (Greek: Δημήτριος Ευάγγελος Μάρτιν, Dimitrios Evangelos Martin; born May 25, 1973) is an American comedian, actor, writer, director, cartoonist, filmmaker, and musician. He was a contributor on The Daily Show, where he was the Senior Youth Correspondent from 2005 to 2008. In stand-up, he is known for his deadpan delivery, playing his guitar for jokes, and his satirical cartoons. He hosted and starred in Comedy Central sketch series Important Things With Demetri Martin (2009–2010). Martin has appeared in several films such as Taking Woodstock (2009) and made his directorial debut in Dean, which he also starred in. He starred as Ice Bear in Cartoon Network's We Bare Bears and is currently the narrator of its prequel spinoff We Baby Bears.

from Wikipedia

Quotes from Demetri Martin

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

—Demetri Martin

My computer beat me at chess… so I beat it at kickboxing.

—Demetri Martin

Nearly one-half of all Americans are torsos.

—Demetri Martin

I like sports bars. Sports bars are great because they collect all of the people I don't want to hang out with, and put them in one room.

—Demetri Martin

I go to the gym religiously. About twice a year around the holidays.

—Demetri Martin