You know, you can't please all the people all the time… and last night, all those people were at my show.

—Mitch Hedberg

About Mitch Hedberg

Mitchell Lee Hedberg (February 24, 1968 – March 30, 2005) was an American stand-up comedian. He was known for his one-liner comedy, characterized by surreal humor and his distinctive deadpan delivery, as well as his unconventional stage presence.

More quotations from Mitch Hedberg

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

—Mitch Hedberg

I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down.

—Mitch Hedberg

I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it.

—Mitch Hedberg

I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get a hold of me, they just say 'Mitch,' and I say 'what?' and turn my head slightly.

—Mitch Hedberg

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

—Mitch Hedberg

humor time sleep

History

23 Oct 2015 Added
26 Oct 2026 Wording changed

Previous wording

You know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.