The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was noone on the other line. Once she said "God Bless you" I said, "I didn't sneeze" She looked deep into my eyes and said, "You will, eventually." And damn it if she wasn't right. Two days later I sneezed.

About Ellen DeGeneres

Ellen Lee DeGeneres ( də-JEN-ər-əs; born January 26, 1958), also known mononymously as just Ellen, is an American retired comedian, actress, television host, writer, and producer. She starred in the television sitcoms Ellen (1994–1998) and The Ellen Show (2001–2002). She also hosted the syndicated television talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres...

More quotations tagged with “humor”