I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?

About Jay Leno

Portrait of Jay Leno

James Douglas Muir Leno ( LEN-oh; born April 28, 1950) is an American television host, comedian, writer and actor. After doing stand-up comedy for years, Leno was chosen in 1992 to replace Johnny Carson as the host of NBC's The Tonight Show; Leno hosted The Tonight Show until September 2009...

More quotations from Jay Leno

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

humor lottery psychics

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

This problem with illegal immigration is nothing new. In fact, the Indians had a special name for it. They called it "white people.

humor white people Native Americans immigation

If I wanted to go crazy I would do it in Washington because it would not be noticed.

History

11 Jan 2019 Added