If I wanted to go crazy I would do it in Washington because it would not be noticed.

About Jay Leno

Portrait of Jay Leno

James Douglas Muir Leno ( LEN-oh; born April 28, 1950) is an American television host, comedian, writer and actor. After doing stand-up comedy for years, Leno was chosen in 1992 to replace Johnny Carson as the host of NBC's The Tonight Show; Leno hosted The Tonight Show until September 2009...

More quotations from Jay Leno

There's this big pie in show business, and you physically can't eat the whole pie. If you give everybody a slice of pie, you will still have more than enough. The real trick is not to try to get the whole pie, but to keep the biggest slice.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

humor lottery psychics

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

More quotations tagged with “politicians”

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

—Douglas Adams

Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word.

—Charles De Gaulle

I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.

—Charles De Gaulle

Now I know what a statesman is; he's a dead politician. We need more statesmen.

You have all the characteristics of a popular politician: a horrible voice, bad breeding, and a vulgar manner.

—Aristophanes

History

11 Jul 2015 Added