The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.

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About Bill Murray

Portrait of Bill Murray

William James Murray (born September 21, 1950) is an American actor and comedian, known for his deadpan delivery in roles ranging from studio comedies to independent dramas.In 2016, Murray was awarded the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor.Murray became national presence on Saturday Night Live from 1977 to 1980, where...

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We do need each other. It's lonely to really effectively live your life, and anyone you can give help to, or get help from, that's part of your obligation.

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Somewhere there's a score being kept, so you have an obligation to live life as well as you can, be as engaged as you can. The human condition means that we can zone out and forget what the hell we're doing.

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The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30% of their ice cream.

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If you can consciously let yourself get taken and see where you go, that's an exercise. That's discipline. To follow the scent. Let yourself go and see what happens, that takes a bit of courage.

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You gotta commit. You've gotta go out there and improvise and you've gotta be completely unafraid to die. You've got to be able to take a chance to die. And you have to die lots. You have to die all the time.

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One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said, "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that, deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting late.

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Sometimes it seems as though not a moment has moved, but then you look up and you're already old or you already have a household of kids or you look down and see your feet are miles and miles away from the rest of you—and you realize you've grown up.

—Jacqueline Woodson in Between Madison and Palmetto

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I don't think anyone ever remembers what they were really like as kids. Adults think they do, but they don't. Photos and videos don't capture the real you, or bring back to life the person you used to be. You have to return to the past to do that.

—Darren Shan in Sons of Destiny

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Kids are like buckets of disease that live in your house.

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I figure when my husband comes home from work, if the kids are still alive, then I've done my job.

—Roseanne Barr

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