Irony

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

—Margaret Mead

Alas, I know if I ever became truly humble, I would be proud of it.

—Ben Franklin

The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to choose from.

—Andrew S. Tanenbaum

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.

—Jane Wagner

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

—Steven Wright

I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty.

—Nancy Reagan

You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you.

—Yogi Berra

The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.

—Robert A. Heinlein

It kills me sometimes, how people die.

—Markus Zusak

The world is disgracefully managed; one hardly knows to whom to complain.

—Ronald Firbank

I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.

—Steven Wright

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't.

—Douglas Adams

This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it.

—William Goldman

I've noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born.

—Ronald Reagan