I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

—Steven Wright

humor writing books irony numbers

About Steven Wright

Portrait of Steven Wright

Steven Alexander Wright (born December 6, 1955) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and film producer. He is known for his distinctive lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations.

More quotations from Steven Wright

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?

—Steven Wright

humor heat waving

What's another word for Thesaurus?

—Steven Wright

humor language thesaurus

I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world. Perhaps you've seen it.

—Steven Wright

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.

—Steven Wright

I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.

—Steven Wright

humor science water

More quotations tagged with “numbers”

Without mathematics, there's nothing you can do. Everything around you is mathematics.
Everything around you is numbers.

—Shakuntala Devi

math numbers everywhere

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

humor numbers days letters labels

The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.

universe math numbers

A good decision is based on knowledge and not on numbers.

knowledge decisions data deciding numbers

A googolplex is precisely as far from infinity as is the number 1... no matter what number you have in mind, infinity is larger still.

—Carl Sagan in Cosmos

mind infinity numbers

History

22 Feb 2015 Added