I got this powdered water—now I don't know what to add.

—Steven Wright

humor science water

About Steven Wright

Portrait of Steven Wright

Steven Alexander Wright (born December 6, 1955) is an American stand-up comedian, actor, writer and film producer. He is known for his distinctive lethargic voice and slow, deadpan delivery of ironic, philosophical and sometimes nonsensical jokes, paraprosdokians, non sequiturs, anti-humor, and one-liners with contrived situations.

More quotations from Steven Wright

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.

—Steven Wright

humor batteries electronics

I wrote a song, but I can't read music, so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio, and I say, "I think I might have written that.

—Steven Wright

music listening radio songs

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you're not using?

—Steven Wright

You know what scares me? When you have to be nice to some paranoid schizophrenic, just because she lives in your head.

—Steven Wright

fear kindness schizophrenia

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

—Steven Wright

More quotations tagged with “water”

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

—Mitch Hedberg

humor water plants

Water is the driving force of all nature.

—Leonardo da Vinci

life nature water

They gave him a seashell: "So you'll learn to love the water." They opened a cage and let a bird go free: "So you'll learn to love the air." They gave him a geranium: "So you'll learn to love the earth." And they gave him a little bottle sealed up tight. "Don't ever, ever open it. So you'll learn to love mystery.

—Eduardo Galeano

love learning mystery earth water air

Slipping on my shoes, boiling water, toasting bread, buttering the sky: that should be enough contact with God in one day to make anyone crazy.

God enough water sky

I am a vegetarian. I'm not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they're nearly fish, aren't they?… And pigs, cows, sheep, anything that lives near water. I'm like a postmodern vegetarian. I eat meat ironically.

food irony vegetarianism water

History

2 Jan 2015 Added
26 Oct 2026 Wording changed

Previous wording

I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.