I was coming home from kindergarten--well they told me it was kindergarten. I found out later I had been working in a factory for ten years. It's good for a kid to know how to make gloves.

—Ellen DeGeneres

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About Ellen DeGeneres

Portrait of Ellen DeGeneres

Ellen Lee DeGeneres ( də-JEN-ər-əs; born January 26, 1958), is an American comedian, actress, television host, writer, and producer.

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Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it's worse when they are wearing dark glasses and have streamers in their antlers because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot.

—Ellen DeGeneres

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People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.

—Ellen DeGeneres

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What you look like on the outside is not what makes you cool at all. I mean, I had a mullet and wore parachute pants for a long, long time, and I'm doin' okay.

—Ellen DeGeneres

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Nothing says holidays, like a cheese log.

—Ellen DeGeneres

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food cheese holidays Christmas

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The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was noone on the other line. Once she said "God Bless you" I said, "I didn't sneeze" She looked deep into my eyes and said, "You will, eventually." And damn it if she wasn't right. Two days later I sneezed.

—Ellen DeGeneres

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humor psychic astrology

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